I'm going to start using this account more. But my main account is: Sorry I haven't been active
So, here's an introduction of myself:
I'm the girl who doesn't fit in. The one who tries hard to be accepted by everyone. The one who stands by as the people she's "hanging out" with picks on another misfit who nobody likes. I'm the girl everyone likes, but nobody likes enough to come sit by on a bench in the hall. The one who doesn't want to burden people with her presence by giving them the feeling that she's butting into their business. The loner who only hangs out with family.
I'm the girl who talks brightly and happily when talked to but doesn't start any conversations because she has nothing to say. The one with straight-A's but no understanding of the people around her. The one who always seems to be saying the wrong things when speaking her mind. The girl who overthinks and overanalyzes everything said to her and every act before she does anything. The one who plans a billion things to say but doesn't say a thing. The girl who is the only one sitting by herself in the auditorium during an assembly, pretending to be content but is really embarrassed out of her mind. The girl who wants to reach out to others but also wants to be completely alone and hide. The girl on that awkward line between weirdo and loner but leaning towards loner.
I'm the girl who doodles all over her school papers but scribbles over them so nobody will see how good (or bad) of an artist she is. I'm the girl who writes online anonymously about wonderful friendships and relationships but doesn't have any in real life. The girl who is good at everything but at nothing at the same time (except singing; I suck). The girl who acts like she has a wonderful school life to her parents but begs to stay home every morning. The one who talks about classmates to her family and calls them friends. I'm the girl who sits on the bench alone and watches people, wondering what it would be like to be their friend.
I'm the girl who plugs her headphones in to look busy but is really listening to what people around her are saying. I'm the girl who pulls out her iPod to make it look like she has something better to do than talk to other people. The one who bottles up all her feelings and cries alone in the bathroom when her bottle cracks and lets a few emotions leak out. The one always wearing a bright smile to make sure no one worries about her. The one who only grins when someone tells her she looks lonely because she doesn't want to admit it, not even to herself.
I'm the girl who can't express herself. Because she's untalented. The girl who can't stay committed or make up her mind about anything. The one who goes to the mall and doesn't buy anything because she doesn't want to be judged by what she wears or chooses to buy. The girl who holds on to all her regrets and lies to herself that she's forgiven herself. The one who smiles to herself in the mirror because it cheers her up just a little to see her eyes brighten up with pretend happiness. The girl who doesn't like taking pictures because she doesn't like how she looks.
I'm the girl who can be easy to talk to but hard to approach. The one who everyone is nice to but if it came down to it, no one would give an arm or a leg to. The one everyone tolerates but does not love. I'm the girl who gives hugs to her younger siblings everyday just because she needs one and wants someone's arms around her, reassuring her that she's loved. The one who says "I love you" just to hear a little brother or sister say it back because it's nice to hear. I'm the girl who's listened to her depressing playlist more than any other. The girl who changes the song on her iPod to something mainstream when someone asks what she's listening to so she isn't judged for her choice in sad music or Asian music or rap.
I'm the girl who's confident in her grades but doesn't say anything to be modest and not looked down on for bragging. The girl who's set as valedictorian but doesn't want to because she doesn't want to have to come up with a speech to represent her class because she doesn't hang out with anyone. The girl who used to think she had friends, but then one day her "friends" asked her why her friends weren't eating lunch with her.
I'm the girl who dreams of having a fairytale or a romantic sappy love story like one in shoujo manga that she likes to read. The one who's waiting for her life to start and a beautiful romance, but she's really just waiting for her fairytale to fall apart and realize that the world's a cruel place. The one who would give her life for family but doesn't really fit in there either. The one in the middle between the younger kids and the older teens. The one who feels insecure around people because she doesn't want to be judged in a bad light. The one who sometimes acts mean but has too much pride to apologize.
Yeah... That's me. Well, the depressing view of me anyway...
Okay, now enough depressing reality, here's the facts:
You can call me Ase, Aseris, A, or whatever.
I like many things including music, playing piano, drawing, writing, looking at art, imagining up stories
I like to read: Both shoujo and shonen stuff, manga wise.. Futuristic, fantasy, and romance novels.. And a bit of poetry
Music I like includes: YouTube artists like Jason Chen, AJ Rafael, etc. Also.. depressing music.. haha..